Friday, March 21, 2014

Diary Page 3

As I grew in my awareness, my hunt I should say, I started to get more clearer about various things happening in life. Ego is so easy so understand yet the most wrongly understood word.
 So what is EGO? What I use to understand from this word
was someone who is proud of his achievements, things, earnings. Basically proud of all materialist stuff. Then there are people who are proud of the knowledge they have gathered, degrees of education from best institutes of country.
Every time a person would try to show off himself and try to put the other person down I would hear my elders say “Oh he got so much of EGO”. This was my understanding of ego too.

Then I realize that person showing off does has ego but the person feeling down too has ego. Why else he would feel that other is showing him down. The moment I feel I have studied from one of the best institutes of country I tell myself that there are lot more people who have not studied from that institute.

If I feel I am good at some work,  Same moment I say lot of others are not good at it. The moment separate myself from other person its EGO. There are lot of moments to understand ego. Only oneself can do it for them. We must look at ourselves more thoughtfully to understand our level of EGO.
So where all ego could be? A wife who keeps her house clean and beautiful feels her house is better than neighbors, or relatives or colleagues. Same time her husband also feels this her wife keeps it beautiful than others.
 A mother feels that her child is more intelligent, creative, good looking than other child.
A student feels he is first in class and more intelligent than others, at same time parents have the same ego my child better than others.
At work a person feels only I can solve this problem, I could pull this off. I am earning more than my counterparts. Mostly comparing with people around us. We do forget that there are people doing all the above jobs better than us. So thinking this manner our ego would be pulled down. Is that right? No its not right now coz now if I feel inferior that is again ego.
So what exactly is ego? How does it appear in me? Does it do some damage to my health? Yes it does do damage to our health.
At surface level ego was showing off, little deeper if we go we know feeling better than others inside but not showing off  is also ego. More deep we go we understand feeling inferior is also ego. Deeper if we go, we compare ourselves with others is also ego. Deeper we separate ourselves from others is ego. Still deep associating ourselves with this body is EGO.
Moment I feel oh such small thing and he cant understand, such small work and he cant do,  at this age I can do so much work why they cant do. We don’t need to separate ourselves from others. Everyone is unique , can do something that other might not do well. So why compare. We are born same way we are all same.
Sometimes we don’t even understand that we have ego. We will have to closely examine ourselves. Lesser the ego greater the happiness of mine and others too. There could be more instances to understand ego in us. All I feel about EGO is something that does not exist has become so big.

20 March 2014